Bullworth Rising
by INMH
Summary: Crack-tastic. Nail-bats, zombies and Zombrex OH MY.


Bullworth Rising

Rating: PG-13/T  
Genre: Action/Adventure/Humor

Summary: Crack-tastic. Nail-bats, zombies and Zombrex OH MY.

Author's Note: Yeah. I just rented 'Dead Rising 2' the other day. I actually like it (Has anyone else noticed Capcom's intimate love-affair with zombies and women with large chests?), but I have to tell you: It keeps me on the edge. I mean, seriously: They throw this cute little girl at you and say "If you don't get her Zombrex every twenty-four hours, in spite of having all this other shit you _must_ do in that time, she's dead: No pressure, though." And every mission is timed. Every ten seconds of real-time is a minute in game-time, and I… I just hate timed missions, but I really like this game.

Disclaimer: I don't own Bully or Dead Rising 2. Bully belongs to Rockstar games, and Dead Rising 2 belongs to Capcom.

* * *

Jimmy loves Bullworth. He really does.

He _must_, given all the shit he's done in the past two years to keep the peace.

BANG. BANG. BANG.

"You could go a little faster there, Jimmy-boy!" Hell must actually, as they've been suspecting, have frozen over, because Gary Smith actually, for once, unbelievably, sounds genuinely nervous. Jimmy might even go so far as to call him frightened, at least a little.

Gary and Zoe are pressed against the door that would lead outside; they, Jimmy and Petey are in the basement of the school. On occasion, they can hear things falling over in the first floor. Sometimes they hear screams in the distance. All screams in the school itself stopped a while ago.

Petey is sitting on the floor. He's pale. He's got a makeshift bandage made of a torn banner from the main hallway wrapped tightly around his forearm. It's already stained with blood.

It is because of Petey, primarily, that Jimmy is currently hammering some nails into a bat so that they can leave the basement and find the pharmacy in the Vale. But also, it's because Jimmy, in spite of his hardened exterior and badass attitude, has in fact developed something of an affectionate attachment to this psychotic town and its inhabitants.

It's the only town in America that's _actually_ more screwed up than he is.

"Jimmy- We do _not_ need the bat to have a complete coating of nails. _Just enough to smash some skulls!_" Zoe snarls as the doors bang sharply.

"Nearly done!"

"Maybe we should just stay here." Petey croaks weakly. His eyes are wide and terrified. He was bitten outside and considers it a bitter-sweet stroke of luck that a bite was all he got; he knows that it'll be tempting fate to go charging out into Bullworth just to find medicine for him. He doesn't want to put his friends at risk for his sake.

"No can do, Petey. I like you small, pink and not zombified." Jimmy remarks in stride before removing the bat from the work bench and giving it a test swing. The nails are stuck solidly inside, and not one moves out of place.

When the first zombie outbreak occurred, it sent shivers down Jimmy's spine; of all things in the world that had to come to pass, why did it have to be zombies? At least they were 'night of the living dead' zombies that were slow-moving and moaned, rather than 'dawn of the dead remake' zombies that ran at you screaming bloody murder. And it's not like he ever _dreamed_ that an outbreak would occur in Nowheresville, USA in a tiny town like Bullworth.

Jimmy has a dark suspicion, and feels that he might know what that thing Slawter paid him fifty bucks to pick up last week is. It _was_ a surprisingly large payment given the simplicity of the job: Picking the package up from some shady guy down in New Coventry.

Fuck. He really hopes that for once something isn't his fault.

Zoe has a crowbar. They found it in the parking lot.

Gary has a knife. One of the Greasers dropped it- Jimmy didn't see exactly who- as they were attacked and probably killed.

Petey doesn't have anything, and probably can't handle much weight. Jimmy 'hmms' at this, glances around, sees the staircase nearby and has a strike of inspiration. He quickly ducks downstairs and searches around for a bit before finding the same fire extinguisher he'd used last year to put out the fire in the furnace.

He goes back upstairs, straps it to one of Petey's arms and pushes the hose into the other. "Push the button and foam comes out." Was his blunt explanation. "Or you can just brain someone with it. Whatever you prefer."

Petey squeaks.

Jimmy turns to Gary and Zoe, waiting for his signal. He nods, and they nod back. Then, simultaneously, they jump backwards and raise their weapons.

To all of their surprises, it's only three zombies hammering at the door, rather than a large group (which was what it had sounded like).

Zoe takes the one on the left. Gary and Petey, the one on the right. The closest zombie to himself, to Jimmy's great delight, is Damon West: The guy who, for eight months last year, had tackled him to the ground every time he'd stepped into Jock territory unannounced. Gym had been a damn nightmare.

Jimmy stared at Damon for a moment, surprised that Zombie!Damon has actually achieved the impossible (Managing an even more vacant expression than Damon's typical one). Then Jimmy feels the weight of the bat in his hand, remembers that he just spent ten minutes hammering some thirty nails into it.

Jimmy grins.

He brings the bat up and back and swings so quickly that the wood and nails only register as a brown and silver blur. It collides with Zombie!Damon's head, which explodes into a mass of blood and gore. When Jimmy glances down at his shirt, he's fairly certain that he sees some brain tissue on it.

"Awesome."

He strolls off to join Zoe, Gary and Petey, who have left the basement and are moving towards the gate in the parking lot.

"_Where's your head, at, at…?_"

-End

* * *

The song that Jimmy's humming at the end is "Where's Your Head At?" by Basement Jaxx. If you've ever seen the mini-series Kingdom Hospital, you'll recognize the song from when the headless guy is running around the ghost hospital.


End file.
